Tipping in China –

you’re not in Kansas any more

By Shelley Xiao

After two days non-stop shopping and visiting the places where I grew up, I was totally exhausted. My feet hurt so badly that I reached the point where I didn’t want to move them anymore.

My friend offered to take me to one of the best foot massage places in Shanghai. She promised that I would be able to jump and run without feeling any pain right after the foot massage. I wasn’t sure about that, but was willing to give it a try.

She was right! It was the most wonderful massage experience I have ever had.

The place we went was located in the center of the city. It appeared nothing like any of the other foot massage places I had visited before. It was inside a tall, modern building with double glass doors and a spotless, shining marble floor.

The individual massage room was large, quiet and comfortable. It was decorated with contemporary western interior design mixed with the flavor of oriental artists. The unusually large foot massage couch reminded me of the Chinese emperor’s chair, except that the massage couch was bigger and extremely comfortable.

The Chinese wooden bucket (for soaking the feet in herb water) was enormous. The herb water in the bucket reached almost to my knees, and was covered with all kinds of fresh flower petals: red, pink, yellow, purple, sky blue. They smelled fresh, sweet and relaxing, and I enjoyed that fragrance very much.

The most impressive experience I had there was, of course, the foot massage. The masseuses well deserved their reputations. I noticed that wherever the masseuse touched, the pain disappeared right away. I truly believe that those masseuses have magical hands.

The foot massage part of the experience lasted more than an hour. The total “royal” treatment package–back, neck, shoulder, arms, head and facial massages–lasted about three hours, including a “milky bath,” delicious on-going dessert, drinks, Chinese din-sum and fresh fruits (the amazing complimentary services).

What I experienced at that foot massage place was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every minute of it. They really treated their customers like the emperor or empress.

I thought it would cost me a fortune for such service, but I was wrong. In fact, I was shocked when I heard the price. The total cost was less than an average dinner in an average restaurant.

I decided to pay bigger tips to show my deep appreciation. But when I handed the money over, it was rejected. The masseuses pointed at a big sign behind the counter: “No Tips.” I was also told that this sign was in every room, but I hadn’t noticed it.

I was very disappointed and tried to be clever. I made an excuse to go back to the massage room. I hid the money under the pillow and quickly left. I thought that I did the right thing and I was happy about it. I never thought that what I had done would cause a total disaster.

A few months after I returned to the U.S., my friend told me that the two masseuses who served us were fired. The reason given was that they didn’t make clear to the customers about the “No tips” policy. I was speechless. What kind of rule is this?

It reminded me of another occasion when I had my hair done at a well-known salon. The hairdressers rejected tips in front of everyone, but when I insisted, they happily accepted it.

Another time, at a restaurant, the waiters asked for tips, even thoughe most restaurants didn’t (and still don’t) expect any tips.

Actually there is no “rule” about giving tips in China. Most Chinese don’t give tips. Tipping is not part of the Chinese culture or salary structure the way it is in the United States. How you handle each situation is totally up to you.

So here are some tips regarding tipping: First, it is not required to pay tips to anyone for any service. Second, you can decide to pay or not regardless of whether you are asked for a tip. And, last but not least, in certain places you have to follow their rules. If the sign says “no tips,” you probably should respect it.

Although the situation I ran into was extremely rare, it could happen to you. If you don’t follow those “independent rules,” it could end up hurting those who serve you instead of rewarding them.

- Feb. 2010 -